Better than Best!

We can't help but notice that all the with-it publications are doing it. We're referring, of course, to the "Best Of" edition, that stale journalistic convention that's been profitably flailed by every bad "alternative" paper from here to Manitoba, and before that by all those long-gone city magazines, and before that by ... well, the provenance of this particular ad sales gimmick is as hard to trace as that of a Chuck Berry riff, and about as worthwhile. Yet we at Slampo's Place (formerly Slampo's Garden) don't want our readers to feel disenfranchised, so we've come up with what we humbly believe is the better-than-best, ultimate-beyond-ultimate "Best of Houston," one that's so grandly sublime, so truly top-of-the-line, that we could only call it Bestest of Houston. (Bestest of Houston copyright 2005 by Slampo's Place, formerly Slampo's Garden. All rights reserved. Unauthorized use is prohibited.)

We want to make it easy on our readers, so we've picked the categories, we've made the nominations and we will count the votes (although we pledge to have the results certified by a formerly Big 8 accounting firm, if we can find one that hasn't been indicted recently). And we've kept the whole thing considerably shorter than the average Harris County general election ballot. So happy voting, mofos!

1. Bestest "Blog" in Houston
   
   
• Slampo's Place
  
• Slampo's Corner
  
• Slampo's Hide-A-Way
  
• Slampo's Lil' Church in the Pines
  
• Slampo's Carneceria
  
  
2. Bestest Place to Find a Prostitute in Houston
   
   
   
   • Telephone Road
     
   • Jensen
     
   • Hillcroft
     
   • Houston Press classifieds