Some Guy Called "Mahatma" Gets His Own "District," But Lightnin' Hopkins Only Rates a Historical Plaque? (Which Is Better Than Nothin')

Like all good Americans, we were pleased to learn that Sam Hopkins is finally getting some belated semi-official recognition in the form of a Texas Historical Commission plaque on a corner of Dowling Street in Third Ward, a thoroughfare named in honor of the Confederate-Irish barkeep who headed off the Yankees at the Pass in the service of the effort to keep Lightnin' Hopkins' forebears enslaved. (Pardon our "presentism," but, man, history is just so damn ironic!)

This is a good thing, of course--the plaque, not slavery--and temporary culmination of efforts that at least to our knowledge began with a long-ago suggestion by the late City Councilwoman Eleanor Tinsley (to whom it was most assuredly suggested by someone else) to rename a street or part of a street after Hopkins. Unsuccessful as it was, this always struck us as a sweet gesture, since Tinsley didn't seem like the kind of gal who'd have listed her self as a friend on Lightnin's Facebook page, if he'd lived long enough to have one. Along the way we, among others, tried to do our small part, weather and our limited attention span permitting. Just think how much hipper it'd be if you yoga ladies (and ge'men) were performing your Sun Salutations in Lightnin' Hopkins Park, rather than the faceless and flavorless Discovery Green (an excellent name for a park in Dubuque, Iowa). So congrats to Eric Davis, the local who spearheaded the effort to make the plaque a reality, or near-reality.

But the plaque is not enough. Just recently, a small swath of the home turf on and around Hillcroft Avenue was designated as the Mahatma Gandhi District, after attempts to rename a nominal stretch of Hillcroft after the most renown member of the Vaishya caste were passed over, shall we say, by property owners of other ethnic origins on the street. (This sepia-toned jester has better suggestions.) As we observed when first apprised of the Hillcroft renaming effort, Gandhi, if we remember the movie correctly, never set foot in Texas, or Houston, or on Hillcroft. (Of course, the street probably wasn't platted until after his death, but that's beside the point). Our understanding is that this designation--made visible by placement of small signs, in the shape of a Hindu temple and bearing Gandhi's likeness, atop the regular street signs--was the result of a private fund-raising effort. (If we're wrong, please correct us.) Our question is: Can anyone apply to so designate a district? And if so, where is the Lightnin' Hopkins District? A memorial sign on Dowling is good and appropriate, but it sort of ghetto-izes the man, who, as we pointed out back on Aug. 23, 2006--yes, we must stoop again to quoting our self, 'cause supper's gettin' cold--"embodied the country-come-to-town spirit" of our big hick burg better than almost anyone we can think of, except for its namesake, the illustrious Illiad-spouting farmboy and drunkard.

Sure, Gandhi made his bones with the non-violent resistance thing and was a huge influence on MLK, but let's be honest: Did he ever play and sing a song that spoke so directly to the human condition as Mini-Skirt? ("You better let your dress down a little more, baby.")

We'd envision this zone as a place where an aging flaneur such as our self could stretch out on a park bench in the sun and enjoy a strong drink (make ours coffee with lots of soy milk) and a roll or two of the dice (we'll just watch, thanks.) All the women, even the old ladies, would be required to wear mini-skirts or clingy athletic wear. There would be no bocce.

So the plaque is but a first step. Now let's get to work on the Lightnin' Hopkins District.

By that we mean: You get to work; we'll just keep scratchin' that thing.

Semi-related: Banjo Jones interviews an expert on the pitfalls of gambling on the Super Bowl.

Also: Nick Tosches smokes, FDR-style, and discusses the devil's music with the Guardian UK.

Small Town, Global Village

From "Mineola Police Report," the Mineola Monitor, Jan. 6 edition:

Dec. 23 - A person reported that they bought an Ipod off the internet and sent their money to China and received some shoes in return. The matter was turned over to the FBI.

What Your Global Corporate Masters Were Up To While You Slept, Possibly Under the Influence of Ambien

From a story in Saturday's New York Times on "Ottomania," the widespread and growing nostalgia for the Ottoman Empire that's all the rage in Turkey, supposedly that most secularized and Western-leaning of Muslim countries, which the Times suggests has something to do with the European Union's reluctance to accept Turkey as a full-fledged member:

During Ramadan, Burger King offered a special sultan menu featuring dishes popular in the Ottoman years. In the television commercial promoting the meal, a turbaned Janissary — a member of an elite group of Ottoman soldiers — exhorts viewers not to “leave any burgers standing.”

Wild Geese in the Clean Air

Last Sunday’s New York Times carried an informative front-page story on South Korea’s “wild geese”---mothers who leave behind their husbands in Korea to temporarily (and legally) immigrate to an English-speaking country, usually Australia, New Zealand or the U.S., so that the couple’s children can master the mother tongue of George Bush while attending school. Lots of these wild geese land in Houston’s Memorial area, where a noticeable contingent of Korean kids is enrolled in the Spring Branch school district. It’s a phenomenon with which we are vaguely acquainted, having worked with some of these children over the years to help them divine the mysteries of verb-subject agreement.

This widespread splitting of families has an obvious social cost. According to the Times, it's

considered enough of a social problem that an aide to South Korea’s president recently singled out the plight of the penguin [stay-at-home] fathers.

President Lee Myung-bak said he would start to address the problem by hiring 10,000 English teachers. “This is unprecedented,” he said. “Korea is actually the only country in the world undergoing such a phenomenon, which is very unfortunate."

The learning of English is thought to be a necessity for success in Korea’s corporate world (unlike here in the English-speaking [as of right now] U.S., where we consign so many Spanish-speaking youngsters to the grievously misnamed “bilingual” class), but there’s another reason the geese take flight: so their kids can escape, at least temporarily, the pressure-cooker of the Korean school system. As the Times notes

… unhappiness over education’s financial and psychological costs is so widespread that it is often cited as a reason for the country’s low birthrate, which, at 1.26 in 2007, was one of the world’s lowest. South Korean parents say that the schools are failing to teach not only English but also other skills crucial in an era of globalization, like creative thinking. That resonates among South Koreans, whose economy has slowed after decades of high growth and who believe they are increasingly being squeezed between the larger economies of Japan and China.

It is unfortunate that South Korean parents are under the impression---at least if the Times can be believed---that their kids can be “taught” creative thinking, which of course is one of the grand fallacies put forth by America’s educational elites (the ones with Ph.Ds in education who demand to be addressed as doctor). The secret of many of these Asian kids’ academic success in the U.S. is not just their superior pattern-recognition skills but their rote memorization talents. They have the eerie ability just to stare quietly at written material long past the expiration date for most young American minds and somehow absorb it. That’s how they do it. They may be short on “creative thinking” but almost any child who comes to the U.S. from Chinese, Japanese or Korean schools is going to be 2 or 3 years ahead of their American counterparts in math---over there second graders are already accomplished at long division while over here some of the home-grown knuckleheads we pass on to middle school still don’t "get it."

Yet almost all of the Korean kids we’ve worked with tell us they’d really like to stay in the U.S. if only because school here is more manageable. In Korea, most of them---and the ones we know are almost all middle- or upper-middle class---go to school until 3:30 or 4:30 in the afternoon, then go to after-school “cram” classes until 10 or 11 at night. They say it’s a brutal pace, and more than one has mentioned that corporal punishment is still routinely meted out by South Korean teachers---not necessarily for bad behavior, but for missing an answer or not paying attention. Usually this consists of a ruler whack to the wrist, the same attention-getter once employed by Irish-American nuns of lore and legend, although we've also been told of smacks being administered upside a tender young Korean noggin.

Then there's the 12-year-old we know who’s taken the English name of “Ted.” He’s not technically a wild goose, as both of his parents are doctors who are studying at the Texas Medical Center. The family planned to return to Korea in a few months but is now considering trying to stay on in the U.S. When we asked why, Ted quickly consulted his electronic translator and pointed to a very wordy entry, explaining that he suffered from the condition defined on the little screen: atopic dermatitis. Apparently he was nearly eaten up with it in Korea, but since he’s been in Houston it has almost totally cleared up. Why is that? we asked. Our superior medical system?

“No,” he replied, shaking his head. "In Korea the air is very dirty. Much pollution. But in Houston the air is very clean. Very good.”

That's what he said ...