Another Reason We Might Like to Vote for Kinky

It’s this long-playing vinyl record album right here, cleverly titled Kinky Friedman, which dates to 1974. We once owned a copy and spun it all the time but lost it somewhere along the way as we rambled 'round from town to town. As fate would have it, we happened upon it again one Saturday afternoon four or five months ago when we dropped in at an estate sale near our home. The former owner, judging by the stacks of books and 33 rpm records he left behind, counted among his enthusiasms real estate law, the state of Israel, Harry Belafonte and bland, Mighty Wind-style folk music from the late 1950s and early '60s. For 50 cents we walked away with two of what were surely his prized earthly possessions: a Jim Kweskin and the Jug Band LP featuring the succulent young Maria Muldaur and future short-time Messiah Mel Lyman on harmonica, as well as a near-mint copy of this Kinky album. We took it home, fired up the old turntable, and were struck once again by how smart, knowing and even moving this record (the Kinky, not the Kweskin) was. And is.

Has Carole Keeton Whatever-Her-Last-Name-Is-This-Year ever written and performed such crushingly beautiful songs as Wild Man from Borneo or When the Lord Closes the Door, He Opens a Little Window? Or Rick Perry---he ­­can’t even handle the likes of Tom Craddick, much less get it together long enough to assemble such a fine, foot-stomping, laughing-at-the-apocalypse anthem as Before All Hell Breaks Loose. Or what about ... wait, it'll come to us ... ah ... would [insert name of potential gubernatorial candidate here] ever have it in him(or her)self to offer such an ecumenical, everybody-sing-along profession of loyalty to his religion as They Ain't Making Jews Like Jesus Anymore? And have it produced by Willie Nelson? And appear on the front cover of his album lighting a cigar and on the back cover smoking a non-filter cigarette?

Is all this a legitimate reason to vote for someone for governor? Yes, it is---the album’s that good!

“Now I know what the gypsy meant
When she told me I’d never be president.
She said, “Adopt a Korean and kill you a moose
Before all hell breaks loose.”