Has Carole Keeton Whatever-Her-Last-Name-Is-This-Year ever written and performed such crushingly beautiful songs as Wild Man from Borneo or When the Lord Closes the Door, He Opens a Little Window? Or Rick Perry---he can’t even handle the likes of Tom Craddick, much less get it together long enough to assemble such a fine, foot-stomping, laughing-at-the-apocalypse anthem as Before All Hell Breaks Loose. Or what about ... wait, it'll come to us ... ah ... would [insert name of potential gubernatorial candidate here] ever have it in him(or her)self to offer such an ecumenical, everybody-sing-along profession of loyalty to his religion as They Ain't Making Jews Like Jesus Anymore? And have it produced by Willie Nelson? And appear on the front cover of his album lighting a cigar and on the back cover smoking a non-filter cigarette?
Is all this a legitimate reason to vote for someone for governor? Yes, it is---the album’s that good!
“Now I know what the gypsy meant
When she told me I’d never be president.
She said, “Adopt a Korean and kill you a moose
Before all hell breaks loose.”