The congressman asked R. if he had Alzheimer’s (“No,” replied R. unhesitatingly) or whether he was anemic (“No” again) or whether he was a vegetarian (“No I am not,” said a slightly grinning R., whose backyard barbecues were once the stuff of H-E-B commercials. [Hey, remember the one where he had A. Pettitte over?]) Finally, the honorable cut to the heart of the matter by asking R. if he were a vegan. R. requested that the congressman repeat the question, then a momentary look of confusion crossed the Seven-Time Cy Young Award Winner’s face before he declared---with a touch of pride, or so it sounded to us---“I don’t know what that is.”
Thursday, February 14, 2008
No Time for Vegans
Our defining moment of Wednesday’s Exercise in Sustained Bloviation, formally known as Day 2 of the House Committee on Oversight and Government Reform’s hearing on “The Mitchell Report: the Illegal Use of Steroids in Baseball,” came after one of the congressional gasbags---we didn’t catch the name, but we presume he’s a Democrat, since he was being extra-mean to Seven-Time Cy Young Award Winner R. Clemens---reeled off a list of “conditions” for which doctors recommend injections of Vitamin B12, the kind that R. says he was administered in the buttocks by ex-pal B. McNamee but which B. on Wednesday denied having ever administered to said buttocks.