We know all the youngsters and media types are hyped up on this Obama bandwagon like they’d knocked back a six-pack of Red Bull, or whatever it is that keeps them up all night at their computer machines (we prefer the traditional stimulants: Community Coffee and/or methamphetamine), but true connoisseurs of the “political process” understand the real action lies in the Democratic primary in Texas State House District 146, where Old School Crank Al Edwards is trying to get back his seat from New School Crank and allegedly ungentlemanly insurance man Borris Miles.
Just this week the Slampo Family, which thanks to some computer program-induced gerrymandering resides in the heavily Democratic district (while also residing in heavily Republican U.S. House and state Senate districts), was the recipient of a truly sublime piece of direct mail from the Edwards campaign---one of the finest political mailings we’ve received in the many decades that such has been cluttering our mailboxes. On the front is a big, close-up color photo of a .38 nestled next to several (spent) cartridges, along with a glass of a nearly drained amber fluid (Olde English 800?) and another glass or bottle, this one green, which appears to be empty. “If you’re embarrassed by Borris Miles’ recent actions, you’re not alone …” says the words below the picture.
Damn straight that got our attention, so we opened up the half-fold to find a reprint of the key parts of the very fine Jan. 12 Chronicle article revealing the that the district attorney’s office is investigating The Honorable Rep. Miles for an incident in which he allegedly livened up a Christmas party by “confronting guests, displaying a pistol … forcibly kissing another man’s wife” and proclaiming himself a “gangster and a thug.” The uninvited Borris also is alleged to have informed the host, a property manager who had invested in a “rival” of Miles’s insurance concern, “There ain’t room in this town for the two of us. I’m going to come after you and take you down.”
(Y’know, that kinda sounds like using one’s office [or thuggery] in the restraint of trade, if true and all.)
But the best part is the picture below the reprinted article, which shows an overturned wine bottle from which appears to have spilled a sizable puddle (with ripples!) of something red. Something too red, too viscous, to be wine. Something a reasonable viewer can only conclude is blood---the life-stuff that the wine-guzzling, pistol-packing Rep. Miles spilled last year when he plugged a copper burglar who was thieving from the state rep's under-construction Third Ward mansion. (In case you forget while turning the page, the backside of the pamphlet bears another image of a .38 below the command: “Enough is enough. Say NO to crude behavior. Say NO to disgusting acts of rage. SAY “NO” TO Borris Miles.”)
Count us among the “undecided” in this one.